Hop in the CrimeMobile, boys and girls -- it's time to go on a road trip to Mahopac, New York! We're now in Day Three of the Slow News Week, so your friends here at Philly Confidential want to bring you this small town crime story that feels like a great underdog movie waiting to happen. (Think Rocky, only, you know, in Mahopac.)

In this corner stands Wasek Safrah, a 51-year-old shopkeeper who Just Couldn't Take It Any More. Wasek, we imagine, is a simple man with simple goals and simple dreams. According to the Associated Press, Wasek keeps his shop in a small strip mall. The AP said another man parked his car poorly last week, blocking Wasek from his beloved trash bin. Sonofab----!

So Wasek sulked. He got mad. He punched the other guy's car. He sulked some more. Then he went and got a forklift and tried to drag the guy's car out of the spot. That failed, and Wasek's sulk levels went through the roof. Simmering with the rage of 100 dead Samurai soldiers (PC has decided Wasek was a Samurai in a previous life, by the way), Wasek wound up and .... punched out his mortal enemy, the Other Guy.

If reporters still sported fedora hats, this half of PC would be tipping it to Wasek right about now. Fourteenth rule of Fight Club: you don't mess with another man's trash bin.