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A veteran volunteer fireman was arrested today in Ohio -- Philadelphia city officials, breathe a sigh of relief -- after he drove and stumbled around town, plastered out of his mind, dressed as a blonde woman in a striped bikini.
Steve Cole, 46, told police that, honestly, he was on his way to a bar to compete in a contest offering a $10,000 prize. With his blood-alcohol level twice the state legal limit, and his bikini topped filled with skin-colored water balloons, the cops' hands were tied. They had to arrest Ohio's Next Top Model.
I urge all of you to click on the previous sentence, which links to a short story and a stunning picture of Cole, who will likely hold a press conference with Donald Trump next week and tearfully confess to being an alcoholic.
Officials in Wayne Township -- where Cole has been a volunteer fireman for 7 years -- said he will be placed on administrative leave and likely ridiculed for the rest of his life.

Comments (3)
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