July 27, 2006
Mayor's Speech to the City
In our humble opinion, the mayor's 5-minute address from tonight is probably best summed up by this expressive photo.
But in case that doesn't get the job done, we'll delve a wee bit into something one of Philly Confidential's editors pointed out: having been in public office for what seems like an eternity, why does John Street still read off teleprompters like he's in 3rd grade?
"This is like Sesame Street," one of our editors grumbled, as Street slowly, painfully explained that things are actually great in Philly, what with the booming real estate market, local amenities and that whole next-great-city thing that National Geographic dreamed up.
(Special thanks to Channel 3 for splicing in video of cops processing the latest bloody crime scene while the mayor explained how Operation Safer Streets -- 'member that? -- is fighting crime.)
The mayor's children's TV reading speed gave us an interesting idea: why not bring in some outside help to liven up the speeches? Sesame Street's own Count von Count would have been perfect tonight.
"Two! Two hundred twenty-six homicides, ah-ah-ahhhh!"
Posted by david at July 27, 2006 08:52 PMI listened to the mayor's address on KYW radio, and had the same response as your editor. Street's slow, disjointed, monotone, badly dubbed kung-fu movie voice made me suffer from temporary narcolepsy. Is it going to be a desirable trait for elected officials to sound like some David Lynch dialogue? How did this guy win any debates without a telepromter? I know being a mayor for a bazillion years takes it toll, but come on. Wait, I have an explanation, Street has already been arrested and imprisoned for corruption. And, has been replaced with the new M-1000 cyborg. The GOP machine from the future has sent this M-1000 back in time to make the Democrats look bad for the midterm elections. Huzzah!
Posted by: Gtown_teach at July 28, 2006 11:27 PMYou fool! The M-1000s will be after us now!
Posted by: david at July 31, 2006 10:07 PMI doesn't feel pity, or remorse. And, it absolutely will not stop, until you are dead.
Posted by: Gtown_Teach at August 1, 2006 05:36 PM