There's a reason Sharon Osbourne, not Ozzy Osbourne, is getting a talk show. Last week, when Ozzy was in the house with MTV to announce the family had signed for a third season of "The Osbournes," to begin taping next fall, the session produced few usable quotes, thanks to the rocker's usual intelligibility problems.

Today it's Sharon's turn on stage. She's here to promote her own apparently celebrity-driven talker in which she plans to conduct some interviews in bed - an idea she admits to having stolen from the late Paula Yates, who used to do it on a British morning show - and the woman's a veritable quote machine, leaving furiously scribbling reporters looking more amused than puzzled, hardly the reaction Ozzy got.

And what about Ozzy's having made it clear - maybe the only thing he made clear, as he muttered, "What Mama says, we all do" -- that it was Sharon's decision to invite MTV's cameras back into their home? Could a third season on MTV be - gasp -- a means of promoting her new talk show?

"Come on - Mama's no dummy," she said.

No, she's not.