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MONKEY BUSINESS

Some people have been waiting a while to find out who "The Carver" is on FX's "Nip/Tuck," but the third-season premiere Sept. 20 probably isn't going to be much help in IDing the doer.

What happened to Dr. Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) after the cliffhanger ending, when the masked slasher hovered over his bedside?

"Nip/Tuck" creator Ryan Murphy's not telling.

"I keep saying that Julian is a ghost [this season], but no one's sort of buying it," said Murphy, who did say that he's going to use the entire 15-episode season to deal with the Carver storyline.

The Sept. 20 episode will take place a month after the events of last season's finale, and may or may not involve a scene where McMahon makes out with a monkey. (McMahon, here with co-stars Dylan Walsh and Joely Richardson, was in a jokey mood, but he seemed to be serious about the monkey. Besides, we're talking "Nip/Tuck" here, and I for one am ruling nothing out.)

Later, fearful that he'd given too much away, he said, "The ghost made out with a monkey."

Draw your own conclusions.

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