I'm back on the couch this week and looking at "Idol" with whole new eyes, after last week's visit to Stage 36, checking to see if this week's audience is obeying orders and clapping over their heads but keeping the signs below their chins.

It's only 8:01, and I already see some signs overhead. What if Ryan can't see his TelePrompTer? Will he just start babbling nonsense?

And how will we tell?

Rod Stewart introduces his new baby and his new baby's mother, and it's depressing to realize that I not only remember his last wife, I remember the one before her, too.