Ryan, taking care of business, asks Katharine McPhee -- born in 1984 -- about last week's "wardrobe malfunction" in the yellow dress (can't say I noticed at the time, but then I'm not a 14-year-old boy).

She looks safely locked in tonight as she sings "Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)," but the performance suggests that it's better to look than to listen this week.

As Ryan's giving her numbers, Simon interrupts to emphasize that it wasn't her best performance.

Fast-forward to Taylor Hicks, who takes us through his blond childhood -- he was born in 1976, conveniently the release date of Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music," -- his brunette adolescence and his current "headlight" status as a somewhat prematurely gray adult.

He ends up on the floor, perhaps having paid to much attention to last week's lesson about singing lying down.

Simon, who apparently doesn't realize that this is likely Taylor's theme song, doesn't like it. No, not even a little bit.