Gene Simmons just waggled his tongue at me.

Moments before he grabbed me and threatened to "mount" me.

Who says TV criticism isn't a contact sport?

Simmons, here with significant other Shannon Tweed and their teenage children, Nick and Sophie, to promote their new A&E "reality" series "Gene Simmons Family Jewels," was, I think, trying to make a point. I'm not a guy -- something he insisted on reminding me of more than once -- but I think the point was that even a guy who's been apparently happily unmarried for 23 years to a woman most guys I know would consider a goddess still might feel the need sometimes to, er, "mount" other women.

Even obviously mortal middle-aged women holding digital recorders in his face in a hotel lobby with the goddess holding court herself a few yards away.

Since the KISS star insists he's never done drugs in his life, I'm forced to conclude that he's either a) certifiable or b) a Method actor.

In either case, he's done nothing to erase the impression that Tweed, who, by her own admission is far from a "doormat," has absolutely nothing to worry about.