Eulogy

Thank you all so much for joining here together to honor my Grandfather's life and rejoice in all that he managed to fit into 72 years. The letters received, condolences given, and the attendance at the viewing and here today reflect the tremendous impact my grandfather had on peoples lives, often one person at a time, sometimes neighborhoods, but always significant. Many of you here today know him as a teacher, a coach, an activist, someone who refused to let the bureaucracy of life harden him to do what he knew had to be done. Today, I will not speak to those efforts as my grandfather had four jobs, to which his life was most devoted, in time and in spirit. He was a husband, a brother, a father, and a grandfather, and it is in this capacity that he has left his greatest legacy. So as you instructed Sean, Pops, rowing will not henceforth pass my lips.
He was a brilliant star, and our ability as a family or individuals to shine at times is a reflection of his light. My younger cousins, have picked a star in the sky for those who die and I find this fitting. He was our guiding star in life and will be even in death. In a letter he wrote to one of his sons, I was reading the other day and dozens he has written to all of us, as he was letter writer extraordinaire, he remarked that he had realized that children love you for being you and not for what you do for them. None of you need championships or awards, he wrote. My greatest gift has been to love you, as there is nothing greater than love. Even in death he put us first, waiting to take his last breath while we were holding his hand. God’s gift to his faithful servant, a peaceful death, his gift to us, to feel his love until the very end.
For any of you that were around the last few months I need not tell you what my grandmother was. A drill sergeant in the hospital, making sure that if there was a way to make one moment, however small more comfortable for Pops, she would do it. Holding his hand and telling him how much she loved him. And in the end fielding probably one of the hardest questions, how do I leave you? And her love so deep she prayed, without concern for her own predicament for his passing.

God has indeed shown them his wondrous mercy, in allowing them to live together to a happy old age. And they in turn have honored him, ‑‑ in loving him, each other, and their family with a selflessness and commitment that I often marvel at.
When my grandparents asked me to share a few remarks I tried to think of what it was that had allowed them to have remained together for so long, with such vibrance. What magic potion had they stumbled upon that seems to elude most. Was it that they, perhaps, were better matched than others? Or maybe their road was somehow cleared of the doubts, misgivings, and tribulations that can often plague married couples. The more I thought about it, however, I realized it was their strong commitment to love and all of its qualities of patience, of its desire to seek to understand before being understood, to rejoice in truth, combined with their unwavering devotion and faith to God that had been the secret to their success. It was the wisdom of lifting up the problems we struggle with to the Lord. To lift up their concerns to God ‑‑and to listen. To listen, not with the deaf ears that discriminate, but with a quiet stillness and an open heart, and allow Him to guide, rather than ego or intellect.
I don't think I have to share with any of you how truly special and unique this is.
I live in a world where being right is somehow viewed as life's most precious commodity. Where the easy way out or a quick fix is often chosen over hard work. And problems are best confronted with analysis and reason, so controlled by ego at times, that its faculties are almost crippled. Watching my grandparents has been such an inspiration to me, and a signal that hard work and commitment, can and does, bear the most tasteful fruit.
This is not to say that their marriage or Pop’s life has been marked only with purity and perfection, for these qualities are reserved for God. But it is to say that they have worked hard to love one another as God loves us. To listen to one another as God listens to us. And also to recognize, above all else, as Corinthians two instructs us, that they have these treasures of love in clay jars "so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us."
God has truly blessed them in their strength to turn to Him and honor him and give thanks and praise for allowing them such a blessed union.
And if a blessing is putting a bit of yourself in something, to change something or someone because of your presence, then we have also been blessed by my grandfather and grandmother.
For their commitment to God and to each other has been matched only by their commitment to this family. Thoreau once said the greatest gift you can give of yourself is a portion of thyself and as I look around the church this afternoon and see my father and two uncles and aunts I could not agree more. For my grandparents love, values, strength, faith, and compassion lives in them as they do in all of their grandchildren.
They have taught us to not hide our faith under baskets, but to share it with the world. They have always stood up for what they believed in, even when forces more powerful than they disagreed. My grandfather fought for integration‑‑for all people to be viewed by the government and the law as God views them‑‑his children, all equal in his eyes. My grandmother, a feminist, long before it was in fashion. And I think their example has pushed us to look within ourselves and discover our truths, whatever they might be, and to cradle them, and perhaps more importantly fight for them.
Besides their example, their counsel and love has been so powerful for this family. I think that all would agree that few days went by without calling them for advice, a car‑pool, a shoulder to cry on, or to share a special accomplishment. And subscribing to their Celtic roots they open up a world for themselves in which nothing is too common to be exalted. And what I mean by this is if you ever watched my grandfather on hands and knees looking into the eyes of a young grandchild or mom‑mom attentively listening to the days problems you quickly realize that these activities are sacred to them, and given as much attention as others often give to what they term "the important things" such as work, politics, or perhaps even money.
They have set their hearts on the greater gifts. They have chosen the path which surpasses all others. The path of love. The path that wants to strengthen, the path that seeks to nurture, the path that always heals. Mary Oliver, having also sought such a path once remarked that if the doors of my heart ever close I am as good as dead.
Well, I am here to share with all of you that if this were the only obstacle to immortality, Pops would still be here, loving God, mom-mom, and all of us for eternity.
Mary and Charles Colgan, I join you in your celebration of 50 beautiful years. Pops I join you in celebration of your life. I honor you for the blessings you have given us, in sharing of yourselves. And I come to church this morning surrounded by your family and friends to honor God and thank Him for the blessings he has bestowed upon you both, and to assure Him, that you have indeed allowed us to take your yoke upon our shoulders and have been gentle and humble of heart. And to ask again for His mercy in granting you such wondrous years with us and in the life hereafter.
We love you so much Pops and I'm sure you have a place in the bass section of that choir of angels, as well as a pretty special crew.

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