Carnac The Magnificent (The Next Mayor)

Forgive me as I indulge myself in the old Johnny Carson routine. On goes the ridiculous hat, out comes the syncophantic sidekick and here we go...

Answer: Ward Cleaver

(tear open envelope, remove contents)

Question: The election that occurs on the third Monday after the primary each year before the mayor's race.

In a story from yesterday's Inquirer that you're not going to see on the local television news, staff writer Tom Fitzgerald, gave a preview of tonight's ward leader elections.

Fitzgerald also reminds everyone that we may not necessarily be dealing with the most mature, thoughtful, and inspirational group of "adults" as he passes on some of the classic stories from ward elections past.

It's hard to unseat a wily ward leader, and veterans tell legends of trickery. One of the most infamous: In 1974, Herbert J. McGlinchey escaped a coup attempt in the 42nd Ward by convening the election on a rented bus. He ushered supporters aboard and took off, most of his rivals stewing on the sidewalk.

Stewing on the sidewalk... shaking their fists with rage and shouting, "McGlinchey, you cur! you madcap! you... you... You gotta admit, that was a pretty clever move."

However, it is these same adults that collectively make many of the major decisions affecting who gets to run for mayor, who has a shot at winning the job, what kind of City Council he or she will have to work with and how I can get a plow to come down the alley where I park my car.

The elections will take place in various locations throughout the city, including, it seems, the homes of the incumbent ward leaders themselves.

It will be up to 34 committee members, meeting at Farrell's home on East Montgomery Avenue. The incumbent says she has 22 votes locked up, but anything can happen. Ramos considers the race too close to call.

I guess her older brother wouldn't let her and her friends use the treehouse out back.

Ok, I'm having a little too much fun at the expense of the system. For some balance, I should also say that most ward leaders and committeepeople truly do get into it in order to serve their neighbors and ensure the vitality of the election day operation.

Like I said, I don't expect too much coverage of these elections on tonight's 11 o'clock news so stay tuned for results in tomorrow's paper and non-pithy commentary about those results in this blog.