I miss the beach. Last week I had the wonderful opportunity to pitch my umbrella in the sand, slap on the SPF 50, crack open a cold Sam Adams and listen to the waves as I read some escapist fiction on the beach in North Carolina. Using my laptop and limited internet connectivity exclusively for keeping up with the Phillies scores (3 out of 4 from the Mets! Not too shabby!), I was able to leave behind the bustle of the big city and the general tumult of a soon-to-be crowded race for mayor.
Candidates and pretend candidates have been safe from my snarkiness.
I missed my opportunity to thank Tom Knox on behalf of local television stations for his generous $270,000 contribution to their bottom lines. If he's not prepared to run ads from now until May, this current one has the staying power of peeing "Knox for Mayor" in the snow except that if he did that, at least he'd be using the word mayor.
I wasn't around when Michael Nutter used some of his trademark people skills to piss off at least one potential voter. Although I disagree that promising to ride SEPTA everyday will cause the next mayor to be any more committed to fixing what ills our fair transit system. If anything, that will only make it less likely that he or she gets things done since they'll be late for work three days a week. I'll have more on my favorite acronym later.
Philly Phantom beat me to making a comparison between Jon Saidel and Jon Lovitz nor could I comment on a campaign strategy that so far has a 16-year citywide office holder sitting pretty at 8 percent in poll that essentially is based on name recognition. Saidel: "Me? Running for mayor? Sure?" (shifts eyes) "Yeah, that's the ticket."
And, according to the Inquirer, the other candidates have also been busily working on their "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" essays.
Bob Soprano Brady is working on putting together a sitdown with the other candidates to establish some rules of decorum for the campaign (rule number 1, none of youse can run against me).
John Dougherty is raising money including "at a Phillies game, in Wildwood, and on the golf course at FDR Park in South Philadelphia." Anyone who paid more than 10 bucks to play FDR should probably ask for their "contribution" back.
Chaka Fattah, meanwhile, is showing them the federal government's money, and (excuse me while I channel Dennis Miller) doing more "exploring" than Fernando Pizarro when he was searching for the lost city of El Dorado.
And finally, Dwight Evans, well, I got nothin'. You get off easy this time, State Representative.
Good to be back. Time to get serious.