The Hortisexual

Alert the National Academy of Sciences!

I’ve discovered a higher life form of voles. Creatures of such advanced intelligence, they can lick peanut butter off a mouse trap without getting their heads snapped.

Unbelievable. I have several dozen standard mouse traps strategically placed about my landscape. Each trap baited with chunky peanut butter.

The score after two weeks:

50 mousetraps 0 voles

Each day I find traps clean and sprung.

Get this: my neighbor Nancy picked up three of my traps in her yard. The kids on the other side showed me a trap way over in their driveway.

Not only are the voles safely enjoying the peanut butter, they’re taking the traps along as they snack.

I thought I was clever by arraying a half dozen peanut butter-smeared traps in a circle, the trigger end of each pointed toward the center. You’d think at a minimum one of the rodents would have to stumble across a trap to get at the bait.

Nope. Every trap clean and snapped.

I know the mouse traps function properly. I’ve got the sore knuckles to prove it!

On the plus side I have noticed the decimation of my garden plants decreasing. Probably because the critters are too stuffed on peanut butter to eat their veggies. I’ve already gone through two jumbo jars of Jif. (Do you know what peanut butter costs these days?!! Let me tell you, it ain’t peanuts.)

Hey. If I can’t snag voles with traps, maybe I can kill them slowly by raising their cholesterol levels.

Since the previous entry about my rodent nightmare I’ve heard from many folks offering advice. Most of it about eradicating moles.

There is evidence of at least one mole in my yard. I can live with him - - for now. I’m more focused on the voles because:

a. they are killing many precious plant specimens, and
b. they're numerous and possibly multiplying

Once I solve my vole problem, I’ll worry about the mole.

A Master Gardener friend asked me to tell you about “milky spore” as a natural, long-term strategy for controlling lawn grubs, and thereby depriving moles of a favorite delicacy.

Okay, I will.

Milky spore products, typically sold in powder form, contain spores of a disease bacterium that targets Japanese beetle grubs living beneath the turf munching on grass roots. Grubs feeding in a treated area become infected and produce billions of new bacterial spores, which in turn eliminate more of their grub cousins. You’ll need to be patient though. It can take this beetle-killing disease one to three years to become established and spread over an entire lawn. The good news is the protection can last five to ten years under the right conditions.

The milky spore approach is not a cure all. Moles also eat earthworms.

Meanwhile, Rutgers Cooperative Research and Extension advises chasing moles and voles by eliminating favorable habitat. I guess that means replacing my lawn with astoturf and ripping out all my hostas, roses, assorted annuals and perennials.

I don’t think so.

My new approach to setting the traps: now that the clever voles are trained to expect to find peanut butter waiting for them, I plan to place just a smidge on the center of the trigger mechanism. No way they’ll be able to take the bait without paying the price.

Advice is always welcome. Stay tuned for more updates.