I keep a pint of Jack Daniel’s with my gardening supplies. Every now and then I pour a shot.
Strictly for horticultural purposes, of course.
Seriously. A little nip of booze keeps Paperwhite Narcissus from growing tall and flopping over, according to scientists at Cornell University’s Flower Bulb Research Program in New York.
Lab time was never such fun when I was in school! Can’t you just picture the gang in lab coats downing shots with the bulbs, all in the name of science.
When they sobered up, the researchers published a paper about their findings. Diluted solutions of alcohol result in Paperwhites that are 1/3 to 1/2 shorter, without sacrificing flower size or scent.
Check out the research paper, titled “Pickling Your Paperwhites” at: http://www.hort.cornell.edu/department/faculty/wmiller/bulb/Pickling_your_Paperwhites.pdf
BTW, stick with the hard stuff. The Cornell researchers advise against beer or wine, as the sugars cause major problems with the plants. Gotta admire the thoroughness of their study.
Here’s what you do: Plant bulbs as usual in gravel or other medium and add plain water. 
After the roots have sprouted and the stems are an inch or two tall, add a “cocktail” of 1 part gin, rum, vodka or whiskey (don’t waste the good stuff!) to 7 parts water with each subsequent watering.
It actually works!
The down side is your room smells like the morning after a frat party, at least until the Paperwhites emit their distinctive perfume.
No word from Cornell on whether cigarette smoking stunts Paperwhites growth too.
Cheers!
