The Hortisexual

Gardening is as rooted in American presidential history as campaign mud-slinging.

Last February I penned a Presidents’ Day article for The Inquirer’s Home & Design Section about the Father of Our Country as mail-order gardener.

Twice during the summer of 1787 George Washington took a break from the grind of the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia to drop by Bartram’s Garden, the historic nursery credited with producing America’s first printed plant catalog. Later, after returning home to Mount Vernon, GW placed an order from the nursery’s catalog for more than 200 shrubs and trees, including - - you guessed it - - a cherry tree. Download file

So who will be the next Gardener-in-Chief?

While political pundits focus this primary season on liberals, conservatives, women, African-Americans and young people, the largest voting block is being overlooked like a peony past its prime.

According to the National Gardening Association, 83% of Americans participate in the country’s # 1 hobby. I’ll bet there are more than a few Democratic superdelegates with green thumbs.

I want to know what ground the Democrat and Republican frontrunners have staked out on key garden patch issues.

We know the major candidates’ respective positions on illegal immigrants. But what about the thorny topic of invasive plant species?

What are their plans to bring the U.S.D.A. Hardiness Zone Map into the 21st century? The “current” map is based on temperature data collected at the beginning of the Kennedy Administration. Come to think of it, Barack Obama would probably embrace the connection to JFK.

On foreign policy, will they impose sanctions against China in retaliation for the insurgency of Asian longhorned beetles that slipped into U.S. ports concealed in wooden crates and have since turned tens of thousands of maple, birch and willow trees in NJ and NY to sawdust? View image

I want to hear Tim Russert get into the weeds with the candidates about whether they endorse the principles of Integrated Pest Management.

And what can gardening tell us about the kind of prez each of the major candidates may blossom into?

Will John McCain turn out to be prickly and dry like an Arizona desert landscape?

Is Hillary a hands-on gardener, or does she delegate the dirty work to landscape contractors and their crews of “guest workers” like her affluent Westchester County neighbors?

Mr. Obama has perhaps the most expansive experience in horticultural diversity, spending stretches of his life among the tropical flora of Hawaii’s Zone 11 and the cold-hardy prairie plants of Illinois Zone 5. But can he tell Hibiscus from Heliopsis?

In a few more weeks the field of candidates will be pruned down to two. I sure hope one or the other grows on me by Election Day.

Photo credit: Rutgers New Jersey Agricultural Experiment Station