Tom Waits is going on tour this summer. He's not coming anywhere close to Philadelphia - Columbus, Ohio on June 28 is as near it gets. "We're going to the deep south where they still love a man who wears red pants and they make him feel welcome," he's said. Earlier this month, Waits explained it all in the fake press conference posted below. Today he released this interview with himself.
Clearly enjoying the company and approving of the questions, the practiced vaudevillian explains what's wrong with the world ("We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. ... We are monkeys with money and guns"), quotes Erma Bombeck when asked what he's learned from parenthood ("Never loan your car to anyone to whom you’ve given birth”) and offers up his definition of a gentleman ("A man who can play accordion, but doesn't").
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