Kiss the Earth

Look how beautiful this sugar maple is, even on a morning as dreary as this one. Yet I look at it and think soon, all those rich red leaves will be on the ground. And I'll be out there raking them up.

So it was with some interest that I read a message from the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons about the hazards of leaf-raking, a seemingly benign activity that sends more than 76,000 people a year to doctors' offices and emergency rooms. Their injuries relate to "non-powered garden tools, including rakes."

These well-intentioned folks have some suggestions for how we can avoid injury, which had the unintended consequence of making me laugh so hard, I forgot about the 20 mega tons of wet leaves that cloak my yard.

See what you think.

1. Before raking, warm up for about 10 minutes with light exercise and stretching. Do this afterwards, too. (Ha! If I can muster the energy to get out there and rake, I'm just gonna go for it!)

2. Choose a rake that's comfortable for your height and strength. Wear gloves or use a rake with padded handles to prevent blisters. (Double ha! I grab whatever rake's in the garage, whether it has all its teeth or not. Padded handles?! What are those surgeons smokin?)

3. Avoid using old rakes that are rusty or have loose or broken parts. (You mean, I have to toss my toothless wonder? It's stood by me all these years.)

4. Don't let a hat or scarf block your vision. Watch out for large rocks, low branches, tree stumps and uneven surfaces. (Nothing blocks my vision except the curtain of leaves that continues to fall as I'm raking away.)

5. Vary your movements, alternating leg and arm positions often. (I can hear my neighbors now. "Yeah, the gardening nut has finally lost it. Thinks she's a fairy in 'The Nutcracker.' ")

6. Bend at the knees, not the waist. (Good advice. This I can manage.)

7. Be careful of wet leaves. They can be slippery. Avoid falls by wearing boots with slip-resistant soles. (Wet leaves? Got that. But does this mean I can't wear my bald sneakers?)

8. Don't overfill leaf bags. (Otherwise, like me, you'll be dragging them so far, the bag tears and all the leaves spill out, prompting temper tantrums that do NOT look like anything you'll see in "The Nutcracker.")

9. And my favorite: Do not throw leaves over your shoulder or to the side. This requires a twisting motion that places undue stress on your back. (Hmmm. What am I supposed to do - rent a backhoe? and as for undue stress on my back, I'm there.)

Bottom line here is to be careful. And don't forget to laugh.