Kiss the Earth

Years after my husband successfully weaned me from the crass commercial desire for Valentine's Day flowers, suddenly an arrangement arrives at the office on Valentine's Day 2008. This was a shock. I'd long ago dismissed the holiday as he did, just an excuse to pressure guys into spending a lot of money and women (sorry, girls) to feel competitive with one another based on the amount spent, the size and price of the flowers or gift, etc.

Now what do I do? A vase of red roses, red carnations, white snapdragons and baby's breath appeared on my desk with a mushy card. Hey! Chalk it up to middle age, I guess, the idea that once you get to a certain age, if you're lucky, you realize how lucky you are. And I do.

That said, I was chagrined to note that the roses were all the way open and already darkening around the edges. Within two hours, petals were dropping on the desk. Colleagues suggested I call the florist.

So I did. He couldn't have been more gracious, although his first response was, "This is an open-flower arrangement. It's supposed to look like that." Why, I asked, would you sell an arrangement to anyone that has fully opened roses in it from the get-go? I don't think most men, or customers of any kind, take note of that or think to ask. Rose buds don't even last long.

This being Valentine's Day, my florist was beyond busy, but he promised to send another arrangement on Monday. Great. Thank you. Meanwhile, the roses on my desk shed petals like leaves in a wind storm. They were bare by (last) Friday.

Monday rolled around and sure enough, another floral box arrived at work, just like the other one except this one had prettier greens, white instead of red carnations and a black square plastic container, rather than a glass one. Once again, the roses were open, though not nearly as wide as the earlier ones were.

Open-flower arrangements strike me as a spectacular waste of money. I think it's unfair for florists to sell them to unsuspecting customers. Perhaps florists and decorators like the look, but for ordinary folks, paying all that money for something that looks like hell in less than a day is a scary statement on the love Valentine's Day is supposed to celebrate.

Perhaps, as one friend suggested, putting open roses in there is an easy way to get rid of flowers that have been hanging around the cooler too long. Time out! Flowers from the florist aren't cheap and they're especially not cheap on Valentine's Day.

Five days after the new flowers arrived, the rose petals are falling off just as the other ones did. Even the carnations are browning around the edges. Clearly, they weren't fresh to begin with. The red ones from last week are still doing fine.

So to my dear husband, I say, thank you for this sweet and unexpected gesture. I loved the mushy card, a clear sign sign we're getting soft in middle age. But next time, if you insist on being such a softie again, beware of florists selling open roses. Talk about crass and commercial.