As the Image editor, I receive dozens of "womens interest" books from publishers, many of them self-help volumes (why so many of these books are aimed solely at women is a topic for another day). And a lot of these - surprise, surprise - are about how to get a guy.
The latest entry in the genre is How to Date Men: Dating Secrets from America's Top Matchmaker by Janis Spindel, who has allegedly 760 marriages to her credit. Despite that track record, the book itself offers little that is new, preferring to revisit the same advice that any single woman over the age of 25 has already heard from her mother a thousand times: Dress cute on the first date! Don't sleep with him on the first date! Don't bring up marriage on the first date! (or ever)! This is one dating manual that isn't even worth skimming at the book store (which I admit I occasionally did in my single days).
Compare Spindel and her warmed-over advice to Patti Novak, the straight-shooting force of nature behind Confessions of A Matchmaker, my second-favorite cable show of the summer (fbehind Top Chef). If you haven't seen this show, set your DVR immediately for 11 p.m. Sundays at A & E. Based in Buffalo, Novak talks and dresses like a South Philly girl on steroids. She's tough with her clients - she tells one woman with a menagerie of birds, cats and flying squirrels to "lose the zoo" - and some of her clients don't want to hear it. But she's always spot on, and it's hilarious and poignant to watch the men and women on her show get it and become successful daters - or fail miserably. Best of all, it's equal opportunity: the men of Buffalo (and beyond) certainly need as much help dating as the women, whether it's learning better table manners or losing the lame pickup lines.
Have you ever bought a dating advice book? Did it help - or hurt?
Comments (2)
I wrote about that book "The Rules," when it came out and not long after, found myself actually DOING some of the things the book prescribed, sort of unconsciously, with my newish boyfriend. Who is now my husband. Sigh.
My favorite dating show, "12 Corazones," on Telemundo, uses astrological signs to hook people up. Total guilty pleasure, you should check it out.
Posted by Citizen Mom | August 22, 2007 10:37 AM
Posted on August 22, 2007 10:37
I fell across the show this weekend on A&E on Demand and I fell in love with the no-nonsense nature of Patty the matchmaker. Although some of her critiques are harsh, you can tell she genuinely cares about her clients and wants to help them. Great show.
Posted by me | August 22, 2007 4:13 PM
Posted on August 22, 2007 16:13